Basics of Wedding and Commitment

A time for engagement means happiness to many people, and this happiness has to emanate from the spouses involved. People make all sorts of promises when they are in love, and many go forth to proving that they really mean what they do, and nothing will stand in their way. But it is always good to understand what these things really mean, especially when it comes to making commitments.

A deeper — and essential, if you want your marriage to last — level of commitment is needed. It’s a commitment to be willing to do whatever it takes to make the marriage work, and that means there are going to be many times when you’re just not going to get your way.

Great — who’s going to argue with commitment, especially when it’s stated so passionately? But then we’ve asked them what they won’t tolerate in their marriage. And, guess what each one says first? (Hint: It has nothing to do with 2 a.m. baby bottle feedings!) Right, it’s infidelity. There’s commitment and then there’s this: “Well, I’m absolutely not going to deal with my spouse getting some on the side!”

All of which means commitment only goes so far, and it seems to reach an ugly, yet not surprisingly predictable end when someone’s schtupping someone he or she’s not supposed to. But if we’re really talking about-honest-to-goodness, down-and-dirty, I’m-committed-to-doing-whatever-it-takes-to-make-this-relationship-work commitment, then shouldn’t a couple that takes commitment seriously be able to work through infidelity — in whatever incarnation it comes to them — and keep their marriage intact? Wouldn’t that be the “better or worse” part of a marriage vow?

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Couples can decide to do their ceremonies in different ways to affirm their coming together in marriage. Commitment ceremonies are some of these events, which can be arranged in celebrating getting into the ‘knot’. These are done either religiously, or secular, they may be complex or just simple events. But most of the time, they are done to publicly affirm marriage by such couples whose marriage cannot be allowed by the law as gays, lesbians and transgender.


This is the part where the couple declares their intent to be a committed or married couple. As in any kind of wedding, they will make promises about what that commitment means. They may promise to love in sickness and in health, in richness and poverty, till death do they part. Alternatively they may write their own vows.


A religious commitment ceremony will likely incorporate hymns and scripture readings that focus on love.

Exchange of Rings

The couple exchanges rings, and says a few words about what these rings mean. It may be

With this ring, I thee wed

I give you this ring as an expression of my love and commitment to you

I’m honored to give you this ring as a symbol of the promises I’ve made to you today, and a proclamation to the world of the love I have for you.

Pronouncement of Marriage

The officiant announces to the guests or congregation that the couple is now married (joined/united/wed – whatever word you prefer to say) and invites the couple to kiss. Some couples may not be used to kissing in public and thus may only have a very small kiss, or forgo this part altogether. Others will relish the moment to have the opportunity to kiss each other in front of their loved ones, proclaiming their love, and pride in having that love.

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Planning a wedding can be one of the most daunting rites in life as a couple. You have to run up and down, getting this and that in place, appointments and arrangements….there is always so much to be done. There are, however, some simple things that should definitely not be excluded from a wedding planning list.

Tell Your Parents

You should tell your parents of your impending nuptials before anyone else. (Unless of course, you are estranged.) Both of you should be present and ideally you will tell them in person – they’ll have a chance to see your happiness up close, look at the ring, and start talking about the wedding.

Purchase a Journal If You Don’t Already Have One

This will be a time of ten thousand moments you won’t want to forget, as well as some frustrating times that you’ll need to vent about, and not necessarily to your partner. The journal you keep while planning your wedding will not only help you through this time, but it will be something you cherish for the rest of your life.

Announce Your Engagement

Tell everyone the good news! There are many ways of doing this, and no way is more correct or better than another.

Set the Date

One of the most important decisions you will make as you plan your wedding. Not only will it be the first question everyone will ask you, but you’d be surprised how difficult it will be to make any progress on planning your wedding without knowing the date.

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